The Amateur Ark-Builder’s Guide to Wembury Beach (Before the Rain Returns)
Given that the British climate treats a sunny interval with the same fleeting commitment a toddler gives to a broccoli floret, a dash to Dartmoor felt recklessly optimistic. Instead, we zipped along in our small car through a countryside that was less "rolling hills" and more "saturated sponge," bound for the nearest patch of coastline at Wembury. I have, it must be said, photographed Wembury Beach approximately four thousand times, but one does not turn one's nose up at actual, verifiable sunshine. After all, in this part of the world, there is every chance we won’t see it again until the next millennium.
If you happen to inhabit this particular fold of the English landscape, a region so relentlessly lumpy it’s a wonder the sheep don’t all have one leg shorter than the others, it will not have escaped your attention that the weather of late has been, to put it mildly, biblical.
In fact, I am reasonably certain that since the turn of the year, the most frequently consulted entry on the internet has not been "how to lose ten pounds" or "easy sourdough," but rather "construction techniques for the amateur ark-builder." I have taken the role to heart, sprouting a beard of such patriarchal proportions that I’m often mistaken for a lost member of a Victorian climbing expedition. Mrs. C, while steadfastly vetoing my requests to adopt the robe-and-sandals look in public, has at least shown a surprising, if slightly alarming, openness to the idea of filling the spare room with two of every living creature.
So imagine our delight when, roughly halfway through another afternoon spent staring morosely at the rain as it sluiced down the windowpane in great, rhythmic sheets, a genuine miracle occurred.
The clouds, seemingly having grown bored of drowning us, shook hands and went their separate ways. In their wake, they left a sky of such startling, improbable blue that it felt almost like a provocation. In the centre of it all sat a fiery orb of such intense brightness that I vaguely recalled seeing something similar on an episode of Teletubbies back in the early 2000’s.
This was not an opportunity to be squandered on household chores or finishing the Ark (which joined the long, dusty ranks of my other abandoned DIY projects). I swapped my theoretical sandals for actual boots, lunged for my camera bag, and bolted for the door.
Given that the British climate treats a sunny interval with the same fleeting commitment a toddler gives to a broccoli floret, a dash to Dartmoor felt recklessly optimistic. Instead, we zipped along in our small car through a countryside that was less "rolling hills" and more "saturated sponge," bound for the nearest patch of coastline at Wembury. I have, it must be said, photographed Wembury Beach approximately four thousand times, but one does not turn one's nose up at actual, verifiable sunshine. After all, in this part of the world, there is every chance we won’t see it again until the next millennium.
From Screen to Summit: My Dartmoor Photography & Wild Camp Experience
Emerging from my "man cave" – which, at this point, more closely resembled a troglodyte's dwelling – with eyes blazing red and a spine curved like a question mark, it became abundantly clear that fresh air wasn't just a suggestion, it was a medical necessity. Hunching over a glowing screen for 48 hours straight is hardly the ideal training regimen for tackling Dartmoor. And the 1.5-mile ascent (yes, I did measure it, mostly out of a burgeoning sense of self-pity) to Great Mis Tor hammered that point home with the subtlety of a runaway train. Mercifully, about two-thirds of the way up, you encounter Little Mis Tor, a sort of granite amuse-bouche, a charming little foretaste designed to spur you on to the main course.
For two solid days, I had been engaged in what felt like an Olympic staring contest with my computer monitor. My eyes, normally a dashing shade of blue (if I do say so myself), had taken on the distinct hue of an undercooked hot dog. The culprit? A recent commission to photograph a musical theatre production by the rather brilliantly LS Drama workshops. Now, when confronted with such talent, one naturally becomes a bit, shall we say, enthusiastic with the camera. The upshot of this enthusiasm was a colossal pile of digital negatives, each demanding my undivided attention across various bits of editing software, where I agonized over details so minuscule they'd make a gnat feel like a sumo wrestler.
Emerging from my "man cave" – which, at this point, more closely resembled a troglodyte's dwelling – with eyes blazing red and a spine curved like a question mark, it became abundantly clear that fresh air wasn't just a suggestion, it was a medical necessity. Hunching over a glowing screen for 48 hours straight is hardly the ideal training regimen for tackling Dartmoor. And the 1.5-mile ascent (yes, I did measure it, mostly out of a burgeoning sense of self-pity) to Great Mis Tor hammered that point home with the subtlety of a runaway train. Mercifully, about two-thirds of the way up, you encounter Little Mis Tor, a sort of granite amuse-bouche, a charming little foretaste designed to spur you on to the main course.
After a good deal of huffing and puffing, all performed under the utterly disdainful gaze of the local woolly spectators (who, incidentally, seemed far too comfortable with vertical living), I finally arrived. As is often the case at this time of year, I was not, in fact, alone on the Tor. A small, suspiciously verdant tent was pitched perilously close to my initial target. Ambling about outside was an individual whose entire sartorial ensemble had the unmistakable whiff of "fresh off the rack." He was engaged in a rather vigorous mobile phone conversation and, upon spotting me, determined I simply had to be informed he was speaking to his wife. I can only assume my sweaty, bedraggled appearance, enormous rucksack, and rather intimidating tripod had unnerved him sufficiently to warrant the swift production of a digital alibi. My personal theory? He was a London reporter, dutifully churning out the annual "wild camping on Dartmoor is a must-do this summer" piece, conveniently omitting the bit about needing to spend the equivalent of a small mortgage on gear before venturing out.
Deciding discretion was the better part of valor, I retreated a safe distance, clambered up the nearest tor, and set up my camera. This entire operation, I couldn't help but notice, was being meticulously narrated back into his phone, presumably for the benefit of either his wife or his editor. Sunset achieved, it was time for a bit of ninja-like descent, a stealthy retreat before I could be roped into an impromptu interview. Who knows, the next time you pick up the Sunday supplements, a compelling article about the "Wild Man of Dartmoor" might just be gracing the center spread.